How to wish for success—or how to ‘think’ successfully

The best way to be successful in anything you do is to have something that’s intrinsically motivating you to do it. That means getting an intrinsic stake in it. Don’t just think, feel. Your internal motivation – your joy of what you’re doing – is what keeps you doing what you’re doing.

Success is all about choice

Most successful people tend to live by two rules:

Rule 1: Choose. If you want something bad enough you’ll figure out how to get it.

Rule 2: Fail quickly. If you fail you’ll have to start over.

In working with thousands of successful people over the years, I’ve found that rule 2: fail quickly, to be the most useful rule. The underlying truth is that most of the biggest successes in the world weren’t really on the path to them in the first place.

For example, most people who get into finance on the basis of their talent for math or engineering never succeed, because their motivation was extrinsic – wealth. They weren’t really motivated to get rich – they were driven to do it. They didn’t want to fail because they didn’t want to start over. They didn’t want to have to fail, period.

If you want something bad enough, you’ll figure out a way to do it, and then you’ll find a way to succeed. But you won’t do it until you’ve been motivated to do it first. That motivation often comes from a deep-seated need to succeed – to prove your worthiness, to get vindication.

If your life’s work is based on something you love to do, your motivations will be deep. They will be genuine and they will be very meaningful. You will often be driven more by emotional need than by the lure of wealth.

The biggest mistake most people make is holding on to what they don’t really need. If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, dump it. Take up a new challenge that does. Some of the biggest successes are the biggest failures. Some of the most prolific entrepreneurs were single parents.

If you’re not in a relationship that satisfies your needs, make a life change. Even if it means changing careers.

1. Find a purpose

The deeper your motivation, the more intense your need for fulfillment. When you have a mission, a reason for getting out of bed every day and being there, then it will almost not feel like work at all. And you’ll take the most important things you’ve ever worked on seriously.

2. Be a person of action

If you want to reach your goals, you can’t be afraid to put in the work. Do things on the fly, do things at a slow pace, do things at a fast pace. If you’re not committed to something, you won’t be able to pull it off.

There’s nothing like checking something off your list and feeling better about yourself, even if you didn’t accomplish anything at all. We all deserve to live a happy life. But it doesn’t happen by accident.

Life is about taking the necessary steps to make it happen. You can do it. So why not start today?

3. Set yourself up for success.

Want to win the race? Spend a little money on the best equipment. Buy a good pair of shoes. Get your hands on an awesome bike. And that’s just the beginning. You need a strategy to bring home that trophy.

One of my favorite tools is the Habit List. It’s a digital form where you can create goals for yourself to follow on a daily basis. All you have to do is create some manageable goals and write a reminder of why they’re important. And once you’ve done that, it’s time to put in the work. Every single day.

You’ll be amazed at how it will transform your life, as it will give you a reason to keep going. The more work you put in now, the faster you’ll see results down the road.

Setting these habits will change you. And you won’t know how powerful it will be until you actually make it a part of your daily routine. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

4. Define your vision

Everybody wants to find something they love and just go with it. They tell me that’s the dream. But how do you know what that something is? How do you know what to say yes to? How do you know what you’re missing out on? How do you know if you’re not living the life you deserve?

How do you know you’re not doing the best thing for you?

The best way to figure it out is to get clear on your values. Don’t let other people’s opinions determine your decisions.

Most people know what their values are, but they’re afraid to own up to them. That’s the exact moment when you should take action and focus on what matters most to you.

Most people tend to let fear get in the way of their true passions.

One of my clients came into my office with a list of excuses why he should not pursue his vision.

He told me how much he hates the way he looks, he doesn’t have the time, he’s always busy, his family is going to disown him, he’s too young, he’s not ready, he’s scared of failing.

I told him I had one question for him, and he gave me this one: “If I told you that you could have a life any of the things you want, but you could never tell anyone that you have it, would you take that